Guest Post by Urban Fantasy Author Carolyn Crane & a Giveaway

Mind Games by Carolyn Crane Double Cross by Carolyn Crane
Mind GamesMy Review Double Cross09/28/2010

Today I have the fabulous Carolyn Crane here at Fantasy Dreamer’s Ramblings! Carolyn’s debut Urban Fantasy novel Mind Games, book one in her The Disillusionists Trilogy, releases tomorrow. This is one book you all do not want to miss out on. So I’m happy to announce that Carolyn has offered to give away a signed copy of Mind Games here, the details are at the end of this post.

Howdy Carolyn!

Author Carolyn Crane My long and heartbreaking road to publication

Thanks, Donna for letting me guest post on your fabulous site! Today, I thought it would be interesting to people to talk a bit about my author’s journey, and what happened before I sold MIND GAMES.

Like many authors, the first book I sold to a publisher wasn't the first book I wrote. I slaved away on numerous projects for months, even years, only to have to abandon them due to lack of interest. Who can understand the whims of agents and editors these days?

Books and projects I worked on that were sadly rejected:

1. Urban fantasy series:


Concept: Hilarious tales of a zombie manicure parlor with a permanent solution to cuticle problems.


Concept: Sequel to “The Last Manicure” featuring a client with a terrible ingrown toenail.

2. Zombie erotica standalone

Title: Deep Caress of the Clammy Hand

Concept: A tender and highly erotic zombie romance

3. Paranormal romance standalone

Title: Fang Repair Dentist

Concept: Did you know that the little canals inside vampire teeth through which they suck blood can get horribly clogged? Sexy dentist Veronica Majors knows all about it. Watch the sparks fly as one of her patients has to undergo the painful procedure.

4. Paranormal romance standalone

Title: The were-pig whisperer

Concept: A mysterious loner brings order to a chaotic hog farm, and lights up the life of the shy widow who runs it, but then he disappears.

5. Urban Fantasy series: 5 planned books


Concept: These gentle weres kill with first. The were-carebears saga traces the hijinks and moral descent of urban fantasyland’s most lovable paranormals.

book #1: The Cottony-Soft Coupe of the Were-Carebears 

book #2: Were-Carebears Snuggle the Paranormals of Seattle

book #3: Peaceful Rumble of Were-Carebears

book #4: The Rejected Snuggle of the Were-Carebear King

book #5: Bloody Wrath of the Were-Carebears 

6. Standalone Urban Fantasy:

Title: The “Is That Wrath? because It Seems Like Wrath” of the Passive Aggressive Demon Accountant

Concept: With this urban fantasy, you are never actually SURE if you’re being attacked.

7. Standalone YA:

Title: Welcome back Otter

Concept: A selkie teacher in an inner city high school helps low-functioning paranormal kids feel accepted.

8. Horror:

Title: Attack of the Zombie Shark!

Concept: In this chilling book, a killer zombie shark swims near beaches and attacks surfers and swimmers, throwing newscasters across the planet into abject PANIC on slow news days.

9. Urban Fantasy standalone

Title: Road Trip of the Amish Living Dead

Concept: After devouring their horse, these hapless Amish zombies cross the badlands on foot and then they buy tickets on an Amtrak train, transforming it into their own personal buffet.

10. YA Horror standalone

Title: The Were-Walmart Happy Face Dot

Concept: On full moon nights, the happy faced price-busting dot transforms into an angry-faced yellow blob and goes around clubbing customers. The authorities are mystified, but one intrepid fae-cashier solves the mystery, and a disturbing fight scene ensues.


There you have it - my heartbreaking road to publication!

LOL. Okay, I didn’t actually write those. But I did work for more years than I like to say on several full length novels that ended up being not quite right. And it actually was heartbreaking to let them go. I’m always so amazed and impressed when people write their first book in like six weeks and sell it (and often they are really fantastic books, which impresses me even more). But every writer has such a different journey, which I something I enjoy about this business.

Carolyn Crane

This post was fun on so many levels! As gullible as I am, when I first read this post I thought the titles for real. ::thumps self on the head:: My favorite was “Deep Caress of the Clammy Hand.” Thank you so much Carolyn for this terrific post.

Places you can find Carolyn: Web Site | Blog | Twitter | Facebook

~*~*~*~*~*~* This giveaway is now closed *~*~*~*~*~*~

Thanks to Carolyn’s generosity, a signed copy of Mind Games will be given away to one lucky commentator. Here’s how to enter:

  1. Leave a comment telling us which concept book from above that you found the most fun/interesting or ask Carolyn a question, she’ll be around to answer them.
  2. Leave your email with your comment if it isn't part of your profile.
  3. Open internationally.
  4. Deadline to enter this giveaway is Sunday, March 28th at 8AM CST.

Good luck!


Anna said...

Donna I thought they were real too until I got #5. LOL! Then I realized that it was just Carolyn's wacky sense of humor. :)

EVA SB said...

I loved 'Deep Caress of the Clammy Hand' but my favourite has to be THE WERE-CAREBEARS SAGA.

As a teenager in the 1980s I worked in a shop selling Carebear paraphernalia and I still feel the need for revenge :0)

Bells said...

My favorite was Welcome Back Otter. I was a huge fan of Welcome Back Kotter as a kid so when I read what you wrote for it brought back so many funny memories. That theme song by the way is going to be stuck in my head now. LOL! I can only imagine what the characters names would be. Hmm...I have to think what would be the equivalent for Horshack and Barbarino. LOL!

By the way I can't wait to read Mind Games. :)

buddyt said...

Good Grief !

Those concept titles really made me giggle ! I don't want to sound snarky, but my first impression was of an author desparate to come up with a concept and not succeeding.

The one that fascinated me was the Attack of the Zombie Shark. I think most people think of sharks as mindless killing machines anyway (although not true), but think Jaws etc. and there would not seem to be much room for any more horror.
Writing that kind of book would have been a real coup !

Maybe though all those concepts would be viable if an author used them sort of like the Jasper Fforde books?

Thanks for the laugh.

Carol T

buddytho {at} gmail DOT com

Mardel said...

***don't enter me, already won a copy***

I just wanted to comment on the book and the post. The post is so funny, I was by myself reading it, and laughing out loud when my boys came home, looking at me a little strange...

The book- I'm so glad I'm reading it right now. It's so different- the hypochondria-I love how you incorporated it throughout the story. At first I thought it was going to by kind of a trait of the character - but you went so much further. And I think a lot of us have at least a smidgeon of this tendency, or least worry about everything we hear about, so to experience with the character her panic and her worries, It's great. I love it. I'm looking forward to Double Cross already, and I haven't even finished Mind Games yet.

Erotic Horizon said...

Congrats on the release Carolyn - Hoping to read this soon..

Attack of the Zombie Shark

That the topic that works for me - JAWS comes to mind - everytime I watch that thing I think "Demented Shark"... must have been a Zombie...

Fun post...


Patti (@TheLoveJunkee) said...

This post had me laughing out loud. Love "Welcome Back Otter" and the concept of hapless Amish Zombies? Fawesome!

Jason said...

I am totally sold on the zombie shark book! You know zombie shark attacks have to be so much worse than live shark attacks! No doubt! :)


Chris said...

SURE you didn't actually write these, CJ. Uh-huh.

(No need to enter me in this one!)

Tez Miller said...

Road Trip of the Amish Living Dead gets my vote :-)

TezMillerOz at gmail dot com

LSUReader said...

I like "The Last Manicure" and "The Last Pedicure." I do love a good sequel! Fun post--Thanks for visiting and congrats on the new release.

Penny Watson said...

:) :) :)

Amish Zombies Forever!!!!!

Don't enter me in the contest...I already have my copy and I can't wait to read it!

Carolyn Crane said...

Anna: LOL. No, no zombie erotica in my future!

Eva: Oh, I can just imagine: we HAD Carebears in our home!

Bells: I loved that show, too. Horshack sort of sounds like an otter.

Buddy: Okay, I need to read a Jasper Fforde!

Mardel: Hey! Thanks!

EH: Thanks!

Patti: LOL. Thanks!

Jase: right, such a big diff!

Chris: Maybe I will.

Tez: beware the amtrack

LSU: thanks!

Penelope: I'm looking forward to our visit!

bianca_riot said...

haha, fun post!!! congrats on the new release!

Attack of the Zombie Shark!! epic. lol



mariska said...

what a interesting and funny post :)

i love no 2,
- Zombie erotica standalone

Title: Deep Caress of the Clammy Hand

Concept: A tender and highly erotic zombie romance

i wonder how the story will be *grins*

uniquas at ymail dot com

CHRISTIE said...

He he! This post made me giggle.

Happy (almost) release day, Carolyn!

“Is That Wrath? because It Seems Like Wrath” of the Passive Aggressive Demon Accountant is my favorite ;)

TheFictionEnthusiast (AT) Live (DOT) com

Kwana said...

Carolyn you are always a riot. I think the Were Carebears Saga could be hilarious. Love it.

Thanks for this post.

limecello said...

lol I loved the list! Congratulations on your new books, Carolyn! As for #5, I have to mention - have you ever seen "Care Bear Attack"?

I wasted soooo many hours playing this in college :X

Heh, and sorry to say, but I'm glad you didn't write those books. I don't think the world is ready for them, and hopefully never will be :P

Unknown said...

Is That Wrath? because It Seems Like Wrath sound hilarious. As do most of these. Very entertaining post!

WonderBunny said...

That was an awesome post! :)

I think the Were-carebears did it for me. Can we have a picture for this series? Get the kids loving werewolves and all things paranormal at young age.

Thanks for the laugh!

Crazy for words said...

Were-Carebears would have been quite funny. I might have actually read that. ^_^

Great guest post!

Sullivan McPig said...

I would so buy and read "The were-pig whisperer" if it had been a real book! There should be a book about were-pigs I think.
And all those zombie stories do sound very cool too, but I do have a thing for zombie stories I must confess

Tynga said...

Zombie erotica standalone

Title: Deep Caress of the Clammy Hand

Concept: A tender and highly erotic zombie romance

Is most definitely my favorite, it just seems so gross lol

THanks for the giveaway and what a great post, I was laughing out loud!

Blodeuedd said...

*shakes head*
What were the publishers thinking, those are pearls ;)
My fav is nr 5, I mean how could one go wrong with careweres? I can see them right now

KT Grant said...

Were-Carebears fight zombieshark with their care bear stare.

s7anna said...

Hey Carolyn,
Congratulations on your new release! I wish you many many years of success!

I so enjoyed reading your post...and I'm such a dork that I really thought all the titles/projects were for real. LOL I absolutely loved Fang Repair Dentist...that would've been a funny romance to read.

I'm looking forward to reading your book.

Happy Reading

Smokinhotbooks said...

I feel the market is really heating up right now for 'erotic zombie romances'...I think Tim Gunn said something.

Christa said...

All of those ideas were fantastic! Though they got less believable as I read (maybe I was catching some sarcastic vibes, lol) so I imagined only those at the beginning as stories & I think the Vampire Dentist would be a hilarious, awesome concept! : )

Thanks for the giveaway.

VampFanGirl said...


Favorite concept: the zombie manicure parlor.


LMAO!!! Hilarious. They all were really but the above mentioned was my fave.

Congrats on your debut release Carolyn!!!


Cathy M said...

Hi Carolyn, your list was a hoot. My favorite was -Road Trip of the Amish Living Dead.

Been hearing great things about Mind Games, and already have it up on my wish list.


Kirsten said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kirsten said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mel said...

The fang Repair Dentists seems there could be a story in it!! Still doesn't the beat the were-carebears though...I can just picture the were-carebear stare...are you sure you don't want to write any of these...I think I'd like to read them!! :-)


Lisa Richards/alterlisa said...

I thought they were real until i reached #4- "The were-pig whisperer".
The Title for #3 "Fang Repair Dentist" might need a little work but hey the concept--I think it would work :)

alterlisa AT yahoo DOT com


Sara M said...

My favorite was definitely "The Were-Walmart Happy Face Dot". Not gonna lie, I've always found it creepy that he's always happy to knock down prices and make less money...

I'm really looking forward to reading Mind Games and will be picking up a copy ASAP! (And if I win this contest, I'll pass it on to a friend!)

Sara M
sara_UFblog [at] yahoo [dot] com

Roxy said...

Wow... I so thought these were for real. Some of them I thought could work but the whole time I was thinking "Is she serious?"

I think I thought about the standalone zombie erotica a little too much... ewwwwwwwww!

Lori said...

LMAO...Carolyn, you're out of your mind!!! LOL, I will never look at carebears the same again. *shakes head*

LOL, my favorite was: The “Is That Wrath? because It Seems Like Wrath” of the Passive Aggressive Demon Accountant

Van Pham said...

fun post!

my favorite concept was Road Trip of the Amish Living Dead.

looking forward to reading mind games...sounds very intriguing!

van p.

throuthehaze said...


Barbara E. said...

I liked Fang Repair Dentist - who knew those little canals that vampires suck blood through would get clogged?
I'm looking forward to The Disillusionists Trilogy, and I'd love to win a copy of Mind Games.

Unknown said...

Hi Carolyn and Donna!

I loved The Deep Caress of the Clammy Hand, lol, I'd read that!! (Well depending on where the hand was caressing and who's clammy hand it was!)

Still can't wait to read Mind Games!

Dottie :)

jellybelly82158 said...

I liked the concept of The Were-Walmart Happy Face Dot
I spend a lot of time in Wal-Mart and I can relate to this.

Linda Kish said...

I loved book 1 The Last Manicure and book 2 The Last Pedicure of the urban fantasy series. That is hysterical.

lkish77123 at gmail dot com

misskallie2000 said...

Thanks for the laughs. LOL.. They had me laughing from the first one but I liked THE WERE-CAREBEARS SAGA
Just hysterical..LOL

misskallie2000 at yahoo dot com

SiNn said...

ok they all made me crack up really hillarious ithink the carebear saga lol be something oddly i think id read if it ever cmae to fruit what a fun post

what isthe strangest book you came across where you read the title and theback blurb and shook urhead and thought to your self ohno they didnt

Heather (DarklyReading) said...

I love the were-Carebears concepts! The fearful carebear stare..hehe..or the deep caress of the clammy hand - hilarious!

Dr. Bill (William L.) Smith said...

Welcome Back Otter caught my eye!

Bill ;-)

billsmith2003 (at) gmail (dot) com

Hope you'll check out my book giveaway:

E.J. Stevens said...

Omg, THE WERE-CAREBEARS SAGA is definitely my favorite (which likely gives away a bit too much about my age, ahem!) but I do believe that I am scarred for life by DEEP CARESS OF THE CLAMMY HAND. I'll never be able to think of zombies the same way again! LOL.

Wonderful giveaway and interview!


Kelsey said...

Fang Repair Dentist made me laugh the hardest! lol

Classic and unique ideas for books! They all sound fun and interesting.

I would love, love, LOVE to read and review these for my blog.


Carolyn Crane said...

Okay, you guys are so funny! I didn't think the were carebears would be such a hit! Also, I sort of didn't think it through, because, are they humans before they turn into the carebears? The way werewolves are? Are they mean humans, but snuggly in their were carebear state?

Also, apologies to all who thought too deeply on the deep caress of the clammy hand! Or fang repair dentist. Ouch!

whitewolfreads said...

Were Carebears?!??!!?! That is too funny!! The way I see it is that they are the nice cuddly carebears but when they become were carebears they are vicious, blood thirsty beasts that hunt you down with their carebear stare! LOL

Thanks for the giveaway!

spettolij AT gmail DOT com

Martha Lawson said...

Very cute! I'd pick Welcome back Otter.. I loved Welcome Back, Kotter!!

I follow

mlawson17 at hotmail dot com

lill said...

'Deep Caress of the Clammy Hand' was where I went 'Oh Ew, that can't be right'
Great post!
jenlilley at hotmail dot com

Teresa said...

Fang repair dentist, I never thought of vampire fangs getting clogged, lol
mstlee2000 @

orannia said...

... they buy tickets on an Amtrak train, transforming it into their own personal buffet.

OK, that would be lonjg as I'm not on the train!

Carolyn - all the best for the release. I'm so glad your book is about to be published and I can't wait to read it!

Leontine said...

This post gave my laugh muscles their morning stretch ;) I would go with THE WERE-CAREBEARS SAGA...just because it brings back memories from me as a kid...CC's saga is kind of like care bears version LOL

decadence said...

I could sooo see Fang Repair Dentist getting picked up by a publisher, especially if the dentist and the vampire fell in love.

In fact, it sort of, almost, in a way did get published! Dentist Shanna is afraid of blood, but she has to replace the fang of her vampire patient before the hole in his mouth heals over, permanently leaving him with only half a bite in How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire by Kerrelyn Sparks.

I'd love to win Mind Games. It's great how some paranormal/UF heroines aren't warrior princesses but snarky, sarcastic and maybe a bit geeky but easier to identify with and Mind Games has had nothing but positive reviews from what I've seen.

Julie S said...

Hehe the “Is That Wrath? because It Seems Like Wrath” of the Passive Aggressive Demon Accountant sounds really funny actually. But all of these concepts are hilarious spin offs!


Unknown said...

The Were-Carebears! OMG that's hilarious - I used to love these little critters when I was young, they were so cute!

Fun post - thanks Carolyn! *it's like talking to myself ;)*

Danunepthys said...

I think Attack of the Zombie Shark! sounds hilarious! I seriously wouldn't mind seeing that in the joke section of the bookstore someday!


Sweet Vernal Zephyr said...

Zombie Erotica! O. M. G. How... oh no, my mind is starting to for pictures... *gag* ...uggg, the torment you bring to my brain!

Miranda ~ SweetVernal Zephyr

Book Lover said...

Oh how funny!
Love the were-carebears and the passive aggressive demons lol

Amanda Leigh said...

LMAO this post was great! I think my favorite is "Bloody Wrath of the Were-Carebears". Though "Deep Caress of the Clammy Hand" also had me cracking up!

CrystalGB said...

What a fun post. All those titles are so funny. I love #4 The Were-Pig Whisperer.

BookMarc Blogpants said...

Zombie Erotica could anyone not love that!


Carolyn Crane said...

Thanks you guys! it is so fun to have you come by for the silly post and talk about it. Well, I hope the carebear company doesn't read all this!!

Emmagan said...

This was a great funny post to read. i really enjoy it. any who i really like 5, the were-carebears so awesome

Jessica Marshall

heatwave16 said...

LOL!!! I loved the post. :) While, the were-care bears are tempting, I have to go with the vamp dentist...that's a keeper for sure.


Anonymous said...

a really cool and funny post! I really hace to choose: Attack of the Zombie Shark! ! jaja! omg its so crazy! but its a zombie shark it will bite you and eat you anyway ^^

Lizzielvr said...

Hi Carolyn! I can't decide which one is better, but I like the "Deep Caress of the Clammy Hand" and the Were-Care bears (they were creepy without the "Were"!!)

Looking forward to Mind Games!

Unknown said...

Haha they're all entertaining, but the one that stuck was the Fang Repair Dentist. i know there are lots of vampire, blood sucker books, but its the first time ive personally heard about the canals in the teeth that the blood is sucked through. :D

carolyn: i imagine you probably did a lot of research on neurosis? any really interesting ones that you werent able to include in the book or want to share?

Carolyn Crane said...

More for the were carebears and the dentist and the shark. LOL. As a writer, I think I have to say I'm especially glad I'm not writing the dentist one.

miji: I didn't do much research on neurosis at all. Because, the ones that I chose are pretty simple, or else, in the case of hypochodria and worrying, I have personal experience.

However, somebody recently brought up the idea of OCD where you have to check the stove a lot, stuff like that, and I was wishing I'd included that one! And, I prolly would've had to research that.

Persephone said...

Wow, they are all such hilarious concepts. I had trouble choosing which I thought was the most interesting or funny. But "THE WERE-CAREBEARS SAGA" was probably my favorite, killing with first. Haha!

patronus89013 at yahoo dot com

Unknown said...

Carolyn, you made me crack up so amny times, that my coworkers asked me what had me in stitches for 5 mins straight :-D

They all sound great and I would have loved to read them ;-), but my personal favourite are: regarding the premise: Last Manicure, and because of its title: The Were-Carebears Saga!! Haha!

I can't wait to get my hands on Mind Games, have read raving reviews about it. Congrats!!

stella.exlibris (at) gmail DOT com

Reading said...

How funny was that?? Welcome Back Otter. I had this vision of Gabe Kaplan with fangs! Please count me in.

lizzi0915 at aol dot com

Anne said...

My favorite was “Is That Wrath? because It Seems Like Wrath” of the Passive Aggressive Demon Accountant.

Accountants are under represented in urban fantasy!

ajolly1456 at gmail dot com

Aik said...

Attack of the Zombie Shark sounds awesome!

aikychien at yahoo dot com

Mishel (P.S. I Love Books) said...

Haha these were great! The Were-Walmart Happy Face Dot was my fave. That stupid Happy Face drove me nuts when the commercials came on!

Thanks for the giveaway ladies :] and congrats on the success of your book Carolyn!!

Lindsay Frost said...

I would LOVE to win this!
Thanks! :D:D:D
This guest post was WAYYY different from any other that I have read and WAYYY funner too!


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